Another Chance
by HeartsEternity
Summary: When Sora feels like he had enough and his heart feels like it's over. He takes his life into his own hands, but will his best friend who was also the cause of his heart break save him from taking his own life? A twist of pleasure,pain,and mental disorder


**Bara here:**

**So this story is actualy a true one, but with Riku and Sora's names to it since my love of them are sooo epic. Its true and what they have been threw in the past. I would rather it stay that way thats why its the past not the present. They have moved on and well this is a way of doing so. I dont have the guts or the rights I guess to say if it was my story, a friends, or some stranger. I guess its up to you the reader to pick. But some things are better left unknown. It was not really edited but it was just not with a fine tooth comb. I have been working on it for some time in smal doses. Alot of the story is not there because it was too hard to wright. And alot was taken out because if it all was in here it would be a novel lol. **

**My life and my friends lifes are like a really bad horror soap opera . anything and everything that could have gone wrong and it has. But let me just leave it at that **

**WARNING: **

**This is very graphic! Sensitive reading and people with a strong will to stomach death should only read on. There is no death but mentions are there. It is based on an attempted suicide, mental disorders, and love. **

**WARNING part 2: **

**The story jumps alot from thought, memories, and what the person is feeling and or experancing. If you are confused please tell me I will try to clear it up for you Via Private Messaging. **

**ALSO if you like this and want a happy story read : I've Had A Little Bit Too much ( but be warned that that story has been put on hold for a month or so) **

**WARNING part 3: **

**Sora and Riku do break up and is VERY OCC! Be warned Riku is potrayed as a very vendictive person. I have nothing against Riku at all. I mean my other story is about them falling in love. XD But yes Very OCC so if you dont like that kind of stuff also just stop reading at once. **

**Ok enjoy its a small one shot: and Reviews are loved!**

You were always told when you were younger that life could be taken away in an instant. In that one instance, I thought that it was my time. It would have been too if it was not for my ex-lover Riku walking in on me. This is my story, my life, and my rebirth.

Alarmingly, the air had a heavy feel to it; my eye lids were shutting and I felt like I was fading. The water had looked like watered down red wine, and burned just as much. I felt like I was drowning, like I was lost and ashamed. What made me have to go this far? I asked myself with such a shaky voice, softer than a whisper.

The memories of Riku and I came flooding back, both the good and the bad. But I wondered did all the bad times outweigh the good? He used me, from the very beginning all he wanted was my body; and he even once admitted it to me. I think that's what broke me, he was my first boyfriend and being gay was hard in the first place and I gave him my all. I have him my first kiss, I gave him my first blowjob, he was my first time in bed, I never once before touched my self the way I have since I met him. But what hurt the most truly were the times he forgot about the simple things like my birthday, and would go off with another boy as I sat back and watched. Yet the times that he would hold me as I cried myself to sleep in his arms, when he saw threw the "other me", or when he would come up behind me and kiss me in front of everyone not caring what others would think, how he would sneak out just to see me, and how he always came back to me when we had our fights.

As I was remembering the good and the bad the temperature that surrounded me turned cold, even colder then ice, and the ceramic wall that touched my skin were the last thing that gave me warmth. The water had started to dull out, like everything around me was also giving up. It was then that I had given up all hope. I gave a last glance over to that once delicate yet deadly object. It was once surrounded in a plastic casing until I left it exposed, unpredictable, and oh so appealing; new and unbroken, just like I had been. It was the perfect object for my demise. I felt like it had called to me as I closed my eyes for what I assumed to be for good.

When I was younger I was always told that when you do die your life will flash before your eyes. The only thing that "Flashed" was the memory's that I wanted out; so either everyone had lied, or it was just not my time. I wanted so much to push it out, him, he was like cancer to me always coming back and leaving its mark on my body. And not in a good way, Riku and I always loved to play fight; it was great until play fighting left huge bruises and almost crushed wind pipe.

Flash Back:

"Aww, my god Riku stop" As a small giggle escaped my lips. Currently Riku was running his tongue up and down my neck wail pinching my now harden nipples. I reached out my hands to grab on to his long silver hair, taking in a big hand full pulling hard. I could hear our moans melt together as he pushes me up against the brick building just outside of school. "Riku, harder please god you make me do the most crazy things" wrapping my legs around his waist. I felt his dick press up against mine and it sent me into a euphoric state. Pushing deeper and deeper into each other rubbing our new harden state up against each other. Our kisses deepened and we fought for dominance. I want to win so badly I grabbed harder on his hair and Riku moaned out even louder letting me in even further. It was a battle of who could take the most pain, a little erotic, if you would say. But it never got any father then just pulling of the hair, it was just play fun. Until I saw the look in his eyes, he was pissed off for some reason. Stopped kissing me, but pushed harder pressing me up to the wall till I could hardly move. His hands wraped then around my neck, I tried to push away but could not he was too strong. His long fingers pressed deep into my neck, I could not breath. He pressed right in my air passage way, it's like he knew how to do this, he had done it before. I tried fighting back with my hands but with his other hand he had to won and bound them together by twisting them single handedly. I was in pain and started crying my vision was fuzzy not just because of the tears but I felt like I was about to pass out. Lightheaded feeling came and my legs gave out from around him. I stood there dangling in the air being held up just by his one hand around my neck. His eyes look apathetic and I soon fell, he had let go. And no one helped me up, I looked around people were looking right back at me. Yet one person had the guts to say anything, they walked over to me as I managed to get up "Serves you right, it's Riku, you should have known better" and walked away.

End of flash back:

It was then that the door to my salvation opened.

The sound of bare feet against the tile was what I heard at that moment. I began to panic; my once slowing heart quickening. The dreaded feeling of shame washed over me. I realized then that I was not going to let this two inch blade get the best of me. I was better than that and I did not need the person who came in through that door to know that I could be otherwise. That burst of energy was all I needed to lift my weakened body out, to unplug that drain.

"Sora, are you in here, I want to talk" I could recognize it as Riku's voice and I felt a little pleased that he will see what he made me do. I did not have the energy to say anything back, but Riku knew me to well. "Sora I know you're in there please just come out". I still was not able to talk, but I managed to move my arm knocking over the razor that was on the edge. And blood dripped slowly on to the tiles, I knew Riku would crawl under the door in a matter of a few seconds.

And just as predicted Riku flying under the door in a panic shock. He did not know what to do, or why I was doing what I did. He knew that if he told anyone that I would be in even more trouble and risked never seeing me again. I could see him walk over slowly like he was ashamed that he had to help me at this point and got a face cloth. What he did not know at the time was it was going to take more than just one face cloth. He lifted me out of the water and onto his lap. His tears splashed on my skin and down my body as I pushed away in pain every time he dabbed one of my cuts. Yes plural cuts, not just one or two. I had managed to cut myself over 275 times. The ones that took the longest to stop bleeding were the first ones I did the ones that symbolized in my eyes the times that he had hurt me the most. Then they just started to take off without me knowing like every simple thing he said to me: "You're just a worthless, sad, inexcusable piece of garbage not even worth the air you are breathing now". He was horrible his words hurt and every part of the word hurt. Worthless in itself got a cut on my inner leg. The most painful of them all were on my ankle. And the ones I always wanted to remember are still there so deep imbedded into me and my arms. I would never forget.

I would then always have dreams about that moment in my life where I assumed that everything was lost. The drain, to me, became a symbol of rebirth. It was an odd warped way of dealing with the situation. I felt like I was born again that moment I unplugged the drain, like when I pulled it all the cares and the memory's with it drained away. But my trial of wanting to even live was not over just yet. My new life might have started, but my old life was still haunting me in an unnerving way; I still had the scars of almost all. I said some might fade in time and they did, but three continue to remain forever.

Yet there was still one thing that was a part of my "old" life that I had to face. So small, yet had me so dependent upon it. That feeling of, well, nothing. That was the whole point; you felt nothing but your head going numb and your life starting to slow down. My senses dulled and sleep had soon followed after every time. This part of my life I just wish to forget, and I have. I have been since diagnosed with split personality, bipolar, and a large text book of many other things. I started taking prescription drugs, for personal and recreational use. The recreational use was my other self's one last way of rebellion; I took pain killers the strongest ones I could get my hands on. I talk about now my "other self" as though there are two of me. And I guess there always was, but Riku did not know and nor did I at first.

The day when my "other" self finally went away – or I hoped it had – was the next day. I walked to school like ever one else did, but I felt different. I felt like they knew that they had started to judge me, that they hated me. But in reality only one person knew Riku. They instantly knew once they saw the look of denial on my face, and that grim look when they leaned against me to give me my daily hug. I regretted what I had done, and the look I gave showed him that I really did it, that he did not dream it up. It was reality for both of us me and Riku.

Living two lives was hard enough for me, keeping up with trying to control two different personalities, two different personas, and overall two people sharing one body and mind. I had to push something away. At first it was my boyfriend Riku/ best friend/ play toy/ enemy, the one that let me cry in their arms for hours, the one that gave me the daily hug. My school work and grades started to fall and slip, then I remembered that drain. I had to let it all go; tell everything to at least one other person in my life. Till this day, only a handful of people know what I have gone through, what I almost did. Now I feel like this is my way of letting it all go – to finally let it set at rest. I Sora, tried to kill myself and I'm ok with that.

It was the long talk that had us late for class, that made me finally change, the one that set my other self into seclusion. Riku felt like they were to blame for what I had done, for what I had become. Sad, lonely, confused, lost, hurt, angry, tainted, contaminated. All these words would have described how my "other self" felt on a day-to-day basis. And they felt like they were the cause of it all.

"Sora, when I first met you, you did not even know what anything was, sex, kissing, dating. Nothing of that, and I showed you. I feel like I opened you up to something you were not ready for, but I also opened you up to a life of pain. And I'm sorry."

That's basically what he had said to me our little conversation was based around the concept that he was the one that opened me up to be vulnerable. But what he did not get was he was abusive, rude, and barbaric. He had never loved me, nor wanted me, but it was ok. I came to terms with that. I had to there was no point to going back, back just meant the other me would have one out again. Back meant more shame and pain. So I wanted to move forward in my life.

"Riku, I love you but I feel like the last four years have been nothing but a lie a constructed by you Riku. I have no meaning anymore of what was real and what was just a lie you had made up. I just can't help feeling that I was just a pawn in a game, which you used over and over again because in the end the poor pawn did not know the knights plans to kill him off to get closer to the other another. I know stupid analogy. I don't know if you, Riku, ever had feelings for me and I don't think I will ever know the truth. You once said to me something along the lines of: how you were glad that humanity had not found a way to go back in time because then we would have no way of learning from the mistakes we made. And no stipulation in my mind have you not made a lot of mistakes but we all have. Some are just more forgivable then others, and at this point what you have done is not forgivable not in the least bit. But because of you Riku I have grown. I will no longer put blame on my "other self", you or me but from now on; I will look forward to live my life anew. And try and forget you. I wish I could say I'm sorry but you knew that this charade this game would end. And the pawn had to die one day right? So I guess your pawn did metaphorically speaking that is"

He shook his head I guess my little speech and outburst was a little unexpected and he nodded understanding that that was my way of saying good bye to him as we walked in separate ways.

So when everyone says that life can go in a flash, that death is always around you, and you always think there is no way you could die, think again, because sometimes it's not literal. The white tunnel to heaven does not always shine, I should know.


End file.
